Tia – TalksWithTiaBlog

Dealing with negative thoughts

Hello<3

Welcome to, or back to Talks With Tia!

Today’s blog post, I will be sharing about my experience with negative thoughts. And how I deal with those thoughts.

I would just like to start by mentioning, that today’s blog post is about suicidal thoughts, anxiety and depression.

If those topics are something which you are currently struggling with, and you wish to avoid, please feel free to miss out this one.

Recently, I have had a lot going on in my life. A lot of things which I have shared in my blog posts or YouTube videos, but there are a lot of things which I have purposefully left unsaid.

Life can be so chaotic.

It’s this constant rollercoaster, of things calming down and then suddenly erupting and burning down.

That’s how it feels to me anyway.

I feel like I have really tried the past couple years, to regain peace in the chaos.

I’ve done the work behind closed doors and I’ve come so far, as a person and as a woman.

However, life likes to humble us when we least expect it.

It’s continually testing my patience and strength.

Although, I’ve worked so hard to get to the place that I have. There are a lot of days, where I still struggle with suicidal thoughts and thoughts of loneliness and self hatred.

I think that is something, which not a lot of people would still know about me, or recognise in me.

But, I wanted to share this to help others.

A lot of the time, when I am having suicidal thoughts, it’s when I have multiple things going wrong at the same time.

It becomes overwhelming to the point, where I just want to make it stop.

In the moment, my mind is racing, I’m completely dissociated from my thoughts and body.

I start to take myself to these dark places, of which I used to live in.

What I mean by this is, when I really was at my lowest and weakest point, I lived in the darkest part of my mind all day, everyday.

After that point, I started working on what made life worth it for me, what made me feel safe, calm or relaxed.

The steps I had taken, are tools that I use now to deal with these episodes I suffer with.

I just wanted to note, that although the advice I’m about to give of how I deal with my mental struggles, each person is different.

It is extremely difficult to pick yourself up, when you’re at your lowest point, when you feel like there’s no point or you haven’t got the energy to try anymore.

But, each day is progress and eventually, we will all be able to get to a place where we can find peace in our chaos.

I’m going to start off with, the most important part of your wellbeing, taking care of yourself.

This takes many forms and shapes for all of us.

I like to do things for myself such as; getting off my phone/social media, going on walks and eating healthy/my favourite foods.

These are all forms of self love for me, as they help me ground myself and give me energy.

Another thing, I’ve recently started doing is, going out and enjoying the sun.

As somebody who has really struggled with anxiety and body dysmorphia, I’ve tried to avoid going out in the sun for many years.

It has been a massive trigger for me for many years, wearing summer clothes or wearing them out in public.

I’ve been bullied a lot in my life, for my body type or how my body looks.

The bullying and societal pressures, have caused me a lot of years of stress, trauma and mental strain in terms of how my body looks.

This is something I still struggle with, as it’s something that has been engrained into my brain since childhood.

We are taught, what the perfect type of body is, what’s attractive and ugly. All a bunch of nonsense created by equally just as insecure people.

That’s why, I’m sharing my experiences and am aiming to make a big change in the future of mental health.

I think it’s important, to deeply understand and love yourself, one day in your life.

I think we owe it to ourselves, to find that peace of mind.

I’ve managed to find some of that peace, in my chaotic life.

I’m continually trying to remind myself of all the positive things in my life.

In the dark moments, I try to regain control of my thoughts by being grateful yet understanding of all the progress I’ve made.

I take those moments to reflect myself, of all the times I thought everything was over, where I didn’t think I would make it, or I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Time obviously is a healer, but in those moments, it’s hard to really grasp that.

It feels like for me, that the feeling will never go away. That things are always going to be “broken” or “going wrong”.

That’s why, I have to remember to be grateful that, I made it through.

I got myself, along with the help of others, through those tough times.

So, my strength is unbreakable.

I’ve come back and forth, from the depths of hell in my mind, probably at least 10 times since I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression.

That is something I have to constantly remind myself of, in my episodes or in daily life.

If I could get through, probably the worst things I’ve ever had to face, I can be strong enough to face this and the rest life throws at me.

Talks With Tia Xoxo

Thank you for reading today’s blog post.

I hope that you found this helpful, and someone can relate to these feelings/experiences.

I would love to hear more from my readers, so please feel free to either leave a comment or message me with your thoughts and questions.

BLOG WEBSITE: talkswithtia.blog

TIKTOK/IG: talkswithtia1111

YOUTUBE: Tia Truscott

Cancelled Podcast Show Trip

Hi!

Welcome to, or back to Talks with Tia!

In today’s blog post, I will be sharing my experience at the London Cancelled Podcast show!

I wanted to share my experience and thoughts, as it truly was one of the best nights.

Before the show started, the energy was unmatched.

Everyone was just so friendly and excited.

When I went to the toilet before it began, I made friends with a girl.

She told me that it started in 4 minutes, so we both needed to be quick.

I was panicking in the stall, because I didn’t want to miss them coming out.

Me and the girl I made friends with, left the bathroom at the same time.

We just looked at each other and fully sprinted.

We realised I took her the wrong way, when we heard screaming coming from the audience.

In that moment, we both just put our everything into getting back.

Luckily, I got back to my seat with at least 20 seconds to spare.

The beginning of the show, was iconic.

I won’t spoil any of the actual content from the show, as I don’t want to ruin anything for anyone going.

After the intro, they both came out.

I’ve not heard screaming like that in a long time. Especially from me.

It was so surreal, the feeling of being in the same room as them.

I’ve looked up to Tana, since the age of 14. And I’ve loved Brooke ever since I first watched her.

These women not only have gotten me through my most difficult times, but have constantly reminded me to remain authentic to myself.

The whole show really reminded me of how much of an impact they’ve had on my life.

They are so both authentically them.

From the hardships they’ve been through, they’ve managed to grow and change and show us all of the process.

I’ve learnt so much from listening to the cancelled podcast and watching Tana and Brooke.

But, the biggest lesson from them I’ve learnt is, it’s okay to make mistakes and you can learn and grow from them.

And that growth, will only brighten your sparkle not dull it.

Thank you for reading!

Talks with Tia xox

Ig/Tiktok: Talkswithtia1111

Blog Web: talkswithtia.blog

YouTube: Tia Truscott

MY STALKER

Hello.

Welcome to, or welcome back to Talks with Tia.

Today’s blog post is something a little different.

It’s something that, I’m currently going through and feel as though I should be sharing this story.

It’s important to me that I get this story out there.

I hope I can remind people of the real scary people in the world.

*For context* A boy that I live in a shared house with, has been stalking and harassing me.

So, it all began on the 27th of March 2025.

It was that afternoon that I had noticed, something was on the note I have on my shelf in the communal fridge.

He had wrote “The Same Tia from TikTok?”.

When I had originally saw the message on my note, I had no idea who it was.

I immediately felt anxious. I didn’t know how many people knew, had saw the note and who had done such a strange thing.

Luckily, it didn’t take very long to put two and two together that it was him.

As the next day, two minutes after I had posted a TikTok…he had liked it.

Once I had saw that he was the one who had done it, I blocked him immediately.

He has an online presence, some might say. And makes videos for TikTok too, so I was confused as to why he did this?

*For Context* Me and him had only had a few interactions, mostly him trying to scare me. And one conversation when he had first moved in, which was very awkward. He barely leaves his room so the contact we’ve had has been very limited.

It was the morning, when I had blocked him. And I didn’t hear a peep from him all day.

That was, until 10.30pm that night.

For some reason, that’s when he chose to harass me again, when I was about to go to bed.

I wanted to go toilet before going to sleep, so I went up the stairs.

As I was half way up, I hear him slowly open the door and whisper “Look who it is” in a weird voice.

I shouted back “f*ck off” and ran into the bathroom.

I started having a panic attack, as I was genuinely scared for what was to about to happen.

As that was happening, he was opening and slamming doors downstairs. Clearly frustrated with what I had said.

I was messaging my best friend, trying to build up the courage to go back downstairs.

When I had built up the courage, I started walking down the stairs and he started opening the door…

I said to him, “What?”.

He replied, “What?”.

I said, “You need to stop being a f**ing weirdo, and leave me alone”.

He said, “What do you mean? How am I being weird?”.

This made my blood boil, as I can’t believe someone can be such a horrible person.

I replied, “The whole situation with the note in the fridge and just then, it’s all just weird. You’ve pissed me off and crossed a boundary so don’t talk to me again”.

He said, “It was only meant to be a joke, but fair enough”.

I said “Yep”.

He said “Yep”.

And I walked away and back into my room, which is next door to his.

I was proud of myself for standing up for myself. And not letting someone feel as though they can make me feel uncomfortable, in a house that I’m living in too.

That’s when I had noticed, the YouTube video I was watching on my TV wasn’t playing anymore. It was a different video.

I was watching one of my most recent YouTube videos, as I wanted to see how it looked on a TV. I knew the video hadn’t finished as I wasn’t too far into it.

I had checked in my viewing history, and I had in fact definitely not finished the video as it was only about a quarter of the way in.

The most scary part of this, was the fact that the new video which was playing was, about the 10 most creepiest things that have happened.

It was only fair to assume, that it was him, who had gone into my room. Changed the video to that, and that was the slamming of the doors I had heard from upstairs.

I hoped that would be the end of it.

I had stood up to him, told him to leave me alone and screamed in his face, which I would have taken more of a warning than he chose to.

He chose to mess with the wrong woman.

But, in Tia’s world, it never just ends there.

I have a really good intuition, so around week ago, on the 13th of March.

I knew that for some reason I needed to check his TikTok.

He made not one, but two TikTok’s about the house.

The first video, was discussing the messiness and laziness of other people in the house. How he didn’t care that he lived with girls, so pees on the toilet seat.

The second video, was similar to the first talking about the hygiene of the house.

But, it soon turned into him talking about how he can’t stand ‘passive aggression’ and to just ‘talk to him’ if there’s any problems.

He then turns the camera around, recording my kitchen cupboard.

He reads the note, I had to leave in the cupboard, due to people stealing my stuff.

“PLEASE DON’T USE ANYTHING FROM THIS CUPBOARD FROM TIA:)”

He then says “I took one teabag dude. Like seriously, just talk to me”.

This is the second time that this 27 year old boy, not man, has personally attacked me for simply doing nothing wrong.

He had invaded my privacy, by not only going through my stuff but recording it for a TikTok.

Insulted the fact I had written the note, despite telling me to my face a month ago, that it wasn’t okay for people to steal my stuff.

Admitted to stealing something of mine, “ I took one tea bag dude” or whatever he wants to believe.

But, wants ME to just “speak to him”.

After all of the stress, torment and frustration he’s caused me.

I should have just talked to him right? And, that would have stopped him being a total weirdo?

I should have just known to speak to him, although I didn’t know it was him until he revealed it all.

How am I supposed to talk to somebody, about stealing my stuff, when I don’t know who’s doing it?

Am I supposed to just know?

It’s actually ridiculous to me, the whole concept of his videos and the logic he seems to have.

He’s the one, who’s making all the mess, causing problems in the household. Leaving pubic hair, in the sink, on the floor, in the bath.

Peeing on the toilet seat, and presumably was the one who was peeing right outside the doorstep for a week straight until I cleaned it.

He rarely leaves his room, other than to create mess for others or to cause problems.

The other day, he smashed a glass, left shards on the floor and chucked it into the bin bag for someone else to have to clean up.

He doesn’t do anything for the house, let alone keep anything in the kitchen. Just uses everyone else’s stuff and takes advantage of us all.

After I had saw the TikTok, I let a few other people in the house know about the whole situation between us.

As, it was clearly becoming something bigger than I could handle on my own.

I’m not sure if he had heard any of these conversations, but after I had spoken with some people.

He has slightly changed his approach.

He opens the window for his bedroom, whenever I’m sitting the garden, I’ve caught him watching me several times.

He’s been in the kitchen a couple times recently, when he knows I’m sitting outside.

I’ve bumped into him going in and out of the house a couple times, where he just stares at me and smiles.

I obviously try not to react to him and walk past with a straight face.

This behaviour is completely insane, and he seriously needs to get help.

Another reason for why I say he is insane, is because of the TikTok I saw he had posted yesterday.

*For context* He is a 27 year old man child, who pretends like he is still in university as his ‘bit’ on TikTok. Apparently,he works for them still, but I can’t tell if he’s just clinging on any type of connection he can have with being in university or being serious.

Towards the end of the video, he starts pretending like he’s talking to his dad about his experience about living at university. Is he seeing anyone? Does he like anyone?

He proceeds to tell his dad “I guess there is someone I quite like. Er, who I live with. They say don’t shit where you eat, but er. You can’t help who you like I suppose. No, not at uni, who I live with here. Talk about flat cest, I put the cest in flat cest. But, better to keep it in the family”.

This is clearly an insane man.

He doesn’t go to university anymore, let alone should be allowed near a university or any kind of school.

He knows deep down he’s not in university like his online persona, as he lets it slip with “No, not at uni, who I live with here”.

Any sane person, would understand that this behaviour is unacceptable and creepy.

I have not mentioned his name yet, but Alex, if you have made it this far. I hope this is the wake up call you need to go and get help.

No matter what issues, mental problems you need to deal with, it is not mine or anyone else’s responsibility to have to put up with them.

And if he’s not reading this, I hope that you found reading this insightful.

There are too many scary people out there, who are willing to stop at nothing, to make you feel uncomfortable.

And I will personally fight this, until he stops and realises what he’s done is wrong.

I will also support and fight, for anyone who’s going through something similar.

Thank you for reading today’s post.

Talks With Tia xox

TikTok/Ig: talkswithtia1111

YouTube: Tia Truscott

Toxic relationships: How to leave

Hello.

Welcome to Talks With Tia!

Today’s blog post is about how to leave a toxic relationship.

This is a very important topic, which I really wanted to discuss.

I hope that you take something away from this blog or find it useful.

This is mainly based on toxic relationships regarding romantic relationships. However, you can apply this knowledge to other types.

This is the 4th blog post I’ve done in my series of Toxic Relationships.

I’ve covered what the definition of one is, how to cope when in one, the signs etc.

Please feel free to check those out before this<3

(Part 4)

How to leave a Toxic Relationship?

•Acknowledge & Validate Own Feelings

The first part in leaving a toxic relationship is recognising the toxicity.

It’s important not deny or downplay the unhealthy balance of the relationship.

This is because you deserve happiness, trust and respect.

You’ve got to validate your own emotions.

Let yourself feel the sadness, pain, fear or anger that you’re experiencing.

And then, start working on accepting that you deserve to be living a healthy, happy and safe life.

•Build an support system

It’s important once you’ve acknowledged your feelings and the toxicity in your relationship.

To start building, YOU again.

A good place to start, is from building a support system.

A support system is made from trusted individuals. Like; friends, family or support groups.

I’ve written a lot on creating a support system in my previous blog, with the title ‘Toxic Relationships: How to Cope When In One?’

Please read it to find out more information.

•Make a safety plan

The first thing to do when you’re creating a safety plan, is to assess your safety.

Are you in immediate danger? What are the possibilities of the reaction to the plan?

It’s important when you’re coming up with a plan that it protects your safety.

When planning your exit, you’ve got to decide when and how you’ll leave the relationship. Where you’ll be once it ends, obviously the safest option.

Looking into finances is another thing to consider in your plan.

If you share accounts or property, it’s important to discretely make arrangements for financial freedom and independence.

•Communicate your decision

When you decide that it is the right time and place to leave. You can decide whether or not you’d like to express it to your partner.

If it is safe to, I would recommend expressing it to them.

If it’s not, then you must protect yourself in giving yourself that opportunity to leave without any further harm.

It’s important when deciding whether or not you’d like to discuss your feelings, to be prepared for their reaction.

Assess how your partner usually responds to conflict or other situations.

Then, plan for your going handle those when they arise. If you choose to speak to them about it.

Whilst explaining to them your feelings, emphasise your need for a safe and healthy life.

•Cut off contact

After leaving the relationship, whether expressing your decision or not, it’s key to limit your communication with them.

The only way you will heal and move forward is by doing that.

I would recommend blocking them.

If it’s not possible to block them, due to children or other responsibilities. You’ve got to unfollow them all on social media.

You must avoid further contact.

Once you feel ready to, please seek support.

Continue to lean into support and seek professional help if you need it.

A final note is that you should be really proud of yourself for finding the strength. To take action on this advice, or to even educate yourself more about it.

Focusing on your wellbeing and doing self-care are steps you can take to give yourself the love and respect you deserve.

I’ve spoken more in previous blog posts about all the steps to take to focus on your wellbeing.

Talks With Tia xox

Thank you for reading today’s blog post.

I hope you enjoyed reading it.

If there’s anything which you found useful or interesting to know, I’m grateful to be able to educate more people about them.

Please like or subscribe to support the blog.

You can also comment, if you would like to.

My social media handles will also be below:-

*Tiktok/Ig: talkswithtia1111

*Youtube: Tia Truscott

*Web: talkswithtia.blog

Toxic Relationships: How to cope when in one?

Hi.

Welcome to Talks With Tia<3

Today’s blog post is about how to cope when in a toxic relationship.

This blog post, is one of the many posts I’ve done on toxic relationships. I go into detail about the meaning, the signs and more…

Please check those out before this blog post, as this is the 3rd part of the series.

(Part 3)

*I will be writing this in two parts as it’s such a big topic*

How to cope when in a toxic relationship?

•Acknowledge & Accept toxicity

The first thing, when you’re in a toxic relationship, is to acknowledge and accept you are in one.

You have to recognise the unhealthy patterns/behaviours in the relationship.

This leads back to part 2, on the signs of toxic relationships.

Recognising the unhealthy patterns/behaviours, are essential as they can support you through this relationship.

If you understand what signs to look out for, you can protect yourself easier. It can also help you figure out what help to reach out for.

Furthermore, you have to accept the toxicity is damaging to you.

You have to accept it’s damaging, in order to take care of yourself. It is a step closer to prioritising your mental well-being.

You deserve to be an a healthy, happy and loving relationship. No matter what type of relationship it is.

It’s important to remember and accept that you deserve love and respect.

•Set Boundaries

Another coping mechanism, is setting boundaries.

Setting boundaries is important in a relationship, as it leads to healthier communication and gives you space to focus on you.

It’s important to prioritise your desires and needs. As this will improve your mental wellbeing and give you motivation to work towards your goals.

You have to establish clear boundaries.

This mostly has to be verbal, as you want the other person to really understand what’s not okay for you and what is.

However, it does have to be supported by repeatedly standing up to those boundaries.

You have to state them assertively and consistently.

If you aren’t clear, or stand strong on your boundaries, the other person may take advantage of this.

An example of setting a boundary, is learning to say “no”.

But, they can be a lot more complex than that and it’s important to figure out what your boundaries are.

•Seek Support

Seeking support is another coping strategy.

Help can be given in many different ways, which I will discuss in this paragraph.

One way, you can seek help is reaching out to a trusted individual.

This can be a friend, family member, teacher or another person you trust.

Another way you can seek help is, speaking to a professional like a doctor or therapist.

There are lots of professionals, who specialise in all different kinds of struggles and mental illnesses. They also can offer support for traumatic events, such as; debt, abuse or neglect.

Another way of getting support, is through support groups.

There are many support groups for all kinds of situations.

Online there are a lot of options for different support groups. It can be a great way to find a community or people who understand what you’re going through.

But, you can find support in person. This is definitely something to remember if you’re in a dangerous situation and you don’t have access to a phone or the internet.

I will create a page dedicated to support you can receive in person, for a range of topics in different parts of the world.

Ive also created a page of different organisations and charities, which you can check out on my page. Under the title: “National Women’s Day”.

(Most of them are UK Based)

•Limit Contact

Another way to cope in a toxic relationship is by limiting contact.

Limiting contact, creates a boundary that shows the other person that their behaviour isn’t acceptable.

You should consider creating a physical, or emotional distance when you realise it’s toxic.

This is to protect yourself.

To minimise exposure to their behaviours, limit the time you spend with them.

If it’s necessary, cut off contact.

Examples of when it’s necessary is if you are in danger, feeling like you have lost yourself, feeling like there is going to be no change or anything you feel makes it necessary.

•Self Care

In my opinion, this is one of the most important coping mechanisms.

Self-care is essential in prioritising YOU.

You put yourself first by focusing on your physical, emotional and mental well-being.

Physical strategies can take form of, working out regularly, eating a healthier and balanced diet.

As, I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts your mind and body are linked. I’ve heard that if you have a happy gut, you will feel better.

Emotional strategies can take form in, doing the things that you enjoy or practicing meditation or mindfulness. Or by speaking to someone about it.

Mental strategies can take form of, speaking kindly to yourself and giving yourself space to feel and support yourself in what ways you think are helpful.

One way that I like to support myself, is by journalling.

Journalling helps me concentrate on what things are upsetting or bothering me. I can get them all out on the page and break them down in my head.

I tend to write things I like about myself, my manifestations and things I’m grateful for at the end of my journals.

This helps me get out what I’m struggling with, but gives me the boost of focusing on what is positive in my life.

Practicing self-love is so important.

The fact, that you are reading this or wanting to love yourself is practicing self-love. This is because, if you want better or want to love yourself more, that’s self- love right there.

Journalling in the way I do, is a way of practicing that. As, it gives me an opportunity to give myself some ‘me’ time, to slow down and process my feelings.

Once you begin to practice self-love, you start to begin to understand yourself. You can start to shape your future.

Please move on, to part 4 for the rest of this blog.

Talks With Tia Xox

Web: talkswithtia.blog

TikTok/Ig: talkswithtia1111

Becoming An Adult

Hi!

Welcome to Talks With Tia!

Today’s blog post is about the struggles of becoming an adult.

I feel like it’s an important topic to talk about, as I want more people to feel less alone and understand how difficult it can be.

There are so many different reasons why becoming an adult can be challenging.

It’s such a big change, which really can shock you to your core.

You have to start paying taxes, being smart about money, suddenly expected to know it all and how to do it all.

All these things are just sprung on you at once and it can be really overwhelming.

I struggled a lot with the fact that people treated me differently.

Suddenly now I was 18, I was just supposed to know everything.

The real world can be very scary, especially when you leave the bubble of school.

You start to see how things really work and how it feels to start to really work too.

I think it’s really common to lose a lot of friends, once you leave school.

You become different people, want different things in life and also, realise that you expect different things.

If this is something that you’re currently struggling with, just remember that it’s okay, everything will work out.

You will find your people.

I think in the darkest and loneliest times, you figure out what you want from a friend, or a partner, what makes you happy and who you are deep down.

And once you start to figure out who you are, your people will find you.

Just like mine did, and all of you know who you are<3

I think the most important bit of advice I would give to someone either going to be an adult soon or are going through this change is… you are doing enough, and anything you need to figure out or learn about, just research.

Another thing I would advise, is learning about money and how to save and invest.

The earlier we are taught these things, the better chance we have of building a stable relationship with money. Something which is very important in adult life.

I found it extremely difficult to understand why adult life was the way that it was. And I think, in a slightly depressing way, you just kinda accept it for what it is.

But you obviously have to find beauty within that. And find what things in your life that are valuable to you.

I think there’s so much pressure, on knowing what you’re doing. How you present yourself to the world.

It’s okay to not know where you are, or where you’re heading because no one really does.

Talks With Tia Xox

I hope enjoyed this blog. If you did, please leave a comment or give it a like.

If you wanted me to talk about anything in particular, send a DM to one of my social media accounts.

Web: talkswithtia.blog

TikTok/Ig: talkswithtia1111

Yt: TiaTruscott

Toxic Relationships: What are the signs?

Welcome to, or back to Talks with Tia.

Today’s blog is on the signs of a toxic relationship.

It’s the second blog I’m writing about toxic relationships, as I plan to cover different topics within that week by week.

Please check out Part 1 for the introduction, if you haven’t already<3

(Part 2)

What are the signs?

Criticism

Criticism is a sign of a toxic relationship, as it lowers your self esteem and worth.

It creates a sense of insecurity, fear and negativity in the relationship, which obviously makes it toxic or unhealthy.

A couple forms that criticism can take are; constant critiques, putting you down or belittling.

Jealousy

Jealousy is a sign of a toxic relationship. This is because jealousy, leads to negative communication and behaviour in the relationship.

The constant questioning of the other person’s loyalty, leads to a breakdown of communication and trust.

Communication and trust are important for a healthy relationship, as both sides should feel safe talking to each other.

Jealousy comes from a fear of abandonment or rejection. This leads to controlling or emotionally manipulative behaviour.

It is a feeling of possession, yet protection. They feel like they need you, like they own you.

This behaviour is toxic as it degrades your emotional and mental wellbeing. You begin to lose control of yourself and reality.

It can also lead to abusive behaviour.

Abusers can use jealousy as an excuse for their actions. In their mind, they can justify how they’ve acted as you did something wrong.

Passive Aggressive Behaviour

Passive aggressive behaviour is a repeated pattern of indirectly expressing negative emotions towards you, rather than communicating about them.

This is a sign of a toxic relationship, as it causes a negative reaction to your actions/behaviours, causing you to feel insecure.

It reflects your partners communication style, avoidant. This creates an unsafe space to talk openly.

Eventually, it becomes a cycle of confusion and conflict. As you want to address the situation, your partner either avoids or argues. This probably leads to the partner using manipulation to lead back to confusion.

Blaming & Shaming

Blaming and shaming is when your partner blames you or others for their wrongdoing or making you feel guilty about yours or someone’s actions towards you.

This is their way of not being able to take accountability for their actions/ emotions. It also a form of manipulation.

It is used to confuse you, your ideologies and beliefs. It becomes hard to distinguish between what you believe is reality.

Abusive Behaviour

Abusive behaviour is behaviour that affects a persons psychological, physical, emotional, economic or sexual wellbeing.

Abusive behaviour in itself, is a huge topic which I would like to speak more about in detail.

It can take forms of shoving, pushing, yelling etc.

If you, or anyone close to you are being abused. Please speak to someone that you trust, and get help.

There are so many websites, organisations and groups of individuals who can help you escape it and protect you.

Controlling Behaviour

Controlling behaviour is repeated actions or tendencies in order to gain control over you and the relationship.

The need for control comes from insecurity, anxieties, mental health issues/ instability or past relationships and many other reasons.

It comes in forms of isolation, manipulation and intimidation tactics.

Financial control is a form of controlling behaviour. It prevents you from having your own freedom and choice of what you spend it on.

Physical controlling behaviour is another form. This is any physical contact, or manipulation tactics used to prevent you from doing something.

Physical controlling behaviour, or physical abuse is something I would like to explore more into in another blog post. As it’s a massive topic, which many people have had to go through.

Emotionally controlling behaviour, is when a person uses non-physical strategies to control you.

They try to make you feel isolated, less than yourself and unable to tell your emotions from their truth.

Examples of emotional abuse are; threats, insults, humiliation, constant monitoring and dismissiveness.

These sorts of experiences can lead to deep trauma. Feelings of hopelessness, fear, being unloved, can really mess with your sense of self -worth.

But there is help available, and my messages are always open for people that need someone to talk to.

We all deserve a safe space to talk.

Isolation

Isolation is a common factor of toxic relationships.

Toxic partners use isolation techniques to gain more control over you.

They want you to feel as if they are the only person you need. This obviously leads back to the possessiveness, as they feel like you are their property.

They also want you to not have the outside noise. They don’t want people around you to tell you that their actions are wrong, or perhaps to get you to see the bigger picture.

Being in a toxic relationship itself can be very isolating, just for the sake of being in one.

The people around you begin to grow tired of seeing you hurting, seeing the cycle, seeing how they treat you.

Sometimes there is no helping someone, until they realise it themselves that it’s toxic. But, it is still important to do what you can to put them in the right direction but set those boundaries of time for yourself.

But, when the people around you, start dropping off like flies. It can feel very lonely, and that’s when you start to form an attachment to the toxic partner.

As although that person doesn’t treat you nicely, they have still stuck around. Even though, it’s their behaviours and actions who have created this reality for you.

My experiences with toxic relationships

Like I mentioned in the previous blog, I’ve experienced a lot of toxic relationships. Partners, friends, co-workers, bosses, family etc.

A lot of my relationships have been toxic, or ended in a toxic way.

I feel as though it’s important to look at the people around you, and see them for who they really are and their values.

Most of my boyfriends have been toxic.

My first boyfriend, was from school. He was my first heartbreak and it was a traumatic one.

When we first met, everything was very sweet between us. We would just be on call for hours, just constantly all over each other, just absolutely smitten.

Eventually, things started to go wrong between us and we would start to argue daily. These arguments would last for days sometimes.

It started with him just shouting at me, but then eventually progressed to worse. He would throw stuff across the room, throw the tv remote towards me or refuse to talk to me.

After some time of heated arguments, I started noticing that he was hanging out with different types of people.

Types of people, he shouldn’t be mixing with. Types of people, I didn’t want to be mixing with.

Then, there would be girls too. So many girls. Messages, hanging out with them. And when I would confront him, he would make me feel stupid for even bringing it up with him even though he knew it was wrong.

A lot of those girls were my friends too, or past friends of mine. Probably just another way of feeling like he had the power.

It got to a point, where things got so bad for me in my personal life and our relationship where he just fell out love with me.

He broke up with me, did some unspeakable things with different girls when we broke up.

Then, once he had a new girlfriend, let me into his house to collect my things. We got talking, and he told me about how much he missed me, how sorry he was.

He made a move on me, and at the time I wasn’t aware he had a girlfriend. But I still didn’t want to kiss him.

After that day, hell broke loose in school, with me, him, his girlfriend and everyone else involved. He eventually got what he deserved for doing it. But, came straight back to me.

And at that point, I thought that’s what love was and I wasn’t prepared to give that up, so I tried again. But that time, I was a different version of myself.

A version of myself, which was more toxic and similar to him. I had started smoking and just completely changed as a person.

I tried to make it work again, but obviously a cheetah never changes its spots. The same scenarios of girls, friends of mine, the arguments etc.

It got to one time, where I got a call from his best friend to break up with me because he had kissed another girl.

I had heard that he had fingered another one of my old friends in the same room as my best friend at the time.

When I confronted him about it, he harmed himself and showed me that he did it.

After all of the stuff that we went through together, eventually it fizzed out into something much worse.

It began with one of our arguments lead to him, forcing me to watch an autopsy. And I have a severe fear of blood, surgery or anything gory.

After that, we fought and broke up and run the cycle until he found a new girlfriend.

Then, him and his friends started bullying me at school and online until I built up the courage to retaliate.

I finally had enough of how they controlled and dictated my school life and life in general. I couldn’t escape their nastiness.

I would come into school, miss lessons, cry for hours, eat in the bathroom alone. I would go home, harm myself, be alone in my room and cry myself to sleep.

Not only did I have to deal with, their bullying, but the fact I had lost someone so special to me and seeing them love someone else.

They wanted me to hate my life, and for a while I did. Until I grew stronger, probably with the help of my friends and people around me.

I’ve dealt with this battle a lot in future relationships. This constant cycle, the way they make you feel like you as a person are insignificant.

I feel as though, we as women, or men need to share our experiences with other people. I think talking is the best way to get people to understand it, know what to do when they’re in one and to help those in them, feel a lot less alone.

The more education, we teach ourselves to not tolerate toxic behaviours and relationships, hopefully the less it will happen.

I obviously understand that these situations and things will always happen, as violence and abuse continue to happen everyday.

That’s why with the right community, support and education we can help people get through these difficult times.

Talks With Tia Xox

I hope you found this blog post helpful or informative.

My goal with these blogs is to spread as much awareness, love and support to people that need it.

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions about this blog or anything I’ve spoken about. Please leave a comment, or send me a dm on my social media handles.

Web; talkswithtia.blog

TikTok/Ig; talkswithtia1111

YouTube; TiaTruscott

Toxic relationships

Hi!

Welcome to, or welcome back to Talks with Tia.

Today’s topic is: Toxic Relationships

(Part One)

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one that negatively affects your self esteem, mental health and general well-being.

There are many shapes and forms which they can take. As the signs, could be physically, emotionally and financially.

Usually, these toxic behaviours are a form of control. Although, most behaviours are stem from childhood or traumatic events/relationships.

Some examples of signs of a toxic relationship are; controlling behaviour, toxic communication and feeling unsupported/disrespected.

Negative emotions and conflicts are normal in any relationship, as we are all human and have our own feelings and beliefs. However, it is not okay, for your partner to feel ownership or make you feel less.

I’ve been in a number of toxic relationships in my life.

However, not all of them have been romantic.

Relationships with friends, family members and co-workers, have all come with toxicity . As I seem to attract those sorts of people.

These have all affected the way I am with people, how I view and behave in the world.

All of the toxic people, made me believe that the world was against me, that my life wasn’t worth living.

In the following blog posts, I will be breaking down toxic relationships into different topics.

Toxic relationships have been a big part of my life, so I have a lot of experience with them. As the discussion about them is so big/important to me, I thought I’d break them down into more detail.

I hope you enjoyed reading the first part of toxic relationships.

If there’s any topics or comments you have. Please leave them below, or message a social media handle.

Talks with Tia xox

Ig: Talkswithtia1111

TikTok: Talkswithtia1111

TikTok: TiaTruscott

Web: talkswithtia.blog

National Women’s Day

Welcome to talks with Tia!

Today’s blog post is different to my others.

In support of national women’s day, I will be posting some numbers, helplines and charities.

It is important that we take care of ourselves and the women around us.

These helplines are mostly UK based.

Domestic Abuse help:

•National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247

•Safer Futures: 0300 777 4777

•Scotland’s Domestic Abuse & Forced Marriage Helpline: 0800 027 1234

•Domestic & Sexual Abuse Helpline (Northern Ireland): 0808 802 1414

•Women’s Aid: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

•Refuge: https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/national-domestic-abuse-helpline/

•National Domestic Abuse Helpline: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Mental Health Help:

•MIND: 0300 123 3393 (Open 9am-6pm weekdays)

•Samaritans: 116 123 (Open always)

•CALM: 0800 58 58 58 (Open 5pm-12am)

*Webchat available*

•National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK: 0800 689 5652 (Open 6pm-12am)

•CALL (WALES ONLY): 0800 132 737 (Open always)

•THE MIX (Under 25s ONLY): 0808 808 4994 (Open 4pm-11pm)

•SHOUT: Text “SHOUT” to 85258

•Switchboard (LGBT+): 0300 330 0630

•NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/

I hope you found these links and numbers useful.

Remember to take care of yourself and be proud of who you are<3

Lots of love,

Talks With Tia

Dealing with anxiety

Hi.

Welcome back or welcome to talks with tia.

Today’s topic is; dealing with anxiety.

Anxiety is a feeling of fear, unease or discomfort. It can range from mild to extremely intense.

I have struggled with anxiety, for around 7 years now.

And those 7 years have been extremely difficult, a feeling which only those who also struggle with anxiety can understand.

Each person’s individual anxieties are very complex and personal to them. As we all have different experiences, struggles and challenges in life.

But one thing, I have learnt is that talking and sharing our experiences with it helps others. As one thing that anxiety makes you feel, is very isolated.

A lot of the time, it can feel like your brain is working against you. As if, you’re the problem.

It’s your brain, so you can have control over it? But there are things we don’t have control over and that’s okay.

We are enough as we are. Not as what we dream to be. Or believe what other people think we should be.

But it’s not as simple as telling yourself you’re enough and believing in yourself.

Anxiety doesn’t just affect you mentally. It affects you physically, which can also range in intensity.

I personally have struggled with a range of different physical responses from anxiety.

One of those, is panic attacks. Panic attacks can take any shape or form, be about anything and again are personal to you.

A lot of the time when I have panic attacks, my brain goes into sensory overload. My thoughts start to race and spiral, if I don’t take control over them. My heart races, throat starts to close up and I completely lose sense of reality. I’ve learnt that this is called dissociation.

When I am having a panic attack, there are a few techniques I’ve found helpful. I will list these below.

•Breathing exercises (breathing in for 7, out for 7)

•Looking at my surroundings, is there any thing I can focus my mind on? For example, can I see any signs or words which I can count the letters of?

•Focusing on my breath and feeling the anxiety , rather than avoiding it

•Listening to music, podcasts or things that make me happy

•Going outside and focusing on my senses e.g. what can I smell, hear or see?

I’ve done a lot of reflection on what some of my triggers are for my anxiety. And those I continue to work on. However, sometimes it can come out of nowhere.

But that all leads back to the mental strength you have to build up for yourself. Because according to psychologists, the mind and the body are interlinked.

Another example of this is, stomach issues. I struggle a lot with the feeling of butterflies in your stomach and this sensation of being tense around my stomach and lower back.

I believe that I struggle with this because of my anxiety. As I have noticed that it is only there when I am stressed or anxious.

A way I manage my stress, is through doing things which I enjoy. A few things I enjoy are; Pilates, going for walks, being in nature and word searches.

Its great for your health and general wellbeing to find stuff that matters to you and gives you something to destress or motivate you.

Another thing that’s key for good wellbeing is you have to find the right support.

As humans, community is really important. The need for love and compassion and respect. But, in life, people don’t always have the best intentions and it’s important to recognise who is really there for the right reasons.

It’s essential in healing and discovering more about your anxiety to have people who understand you. But, it is okay if you feel like there is someone who isn’t.

There are helplines and people out there who are willing to help no matter what. I will dedicate a whole page to helplines and organisations for all kinds of help.

As you’re reading this, I hope you know that whatever you’re going through. You are not alone, and you deserve to be happy and proud of yourself.

I hope that you found this blog helpful and I hope that anything I’ve said makes one person feel less alone.

If there are any questions, or things you’d like me discuss further, please leave a comment or send me a DM.

Talks with Tia xoxo

Website: talkswithtia.blog

TikTok/Instagram: talkswithtia1111