Author Archives: Tia

Finding yourself

Hi,

Welcome to talks with tia!

Today’s topic is finding yourself. I feel as though this is something which not many people speak about, or something that some people never conceptualise.

I do think that this has a lot to do with the fact that it takes a lot of time and effort.

I would like to start with what my personal experience of finding myself was like and how I got there.

I remember always being a shy yet confident child. I was always taught to stand up for myself, but was always put down if I did which made me lose that confidence.

I’ve struggled a lot in the past with bullying, mental health issues, abuse and other traumatic events. These all built up over my teenage years, to where I became what society wanted me to be.

I was constantly in toxic relationships and friendships because of the lack of stability in my life. And this is something I’ve only recently realised about myself.

After my last serious breakup and losing all relationships with my friends and family, I realised I wasn’t who I wanted to be for me anymore.

In my eyes, it had seemed like all these years I had been living for other people. But when it came down to it, I was the one choosing to follow someone else’s dream.

The first step that I took to find myself, was to stop living for other people. I tried to stop caring what other people thought, how they treated me and what they could think of me.

Once taking this first step, it made me go onto the second step. This was going back to my childhood.

I spent a lot of time reflecting on who I was, before all of the events of my teenaged years. The type of things I would do to keep me occupied, the mindset I had.

I was quite a strong minded kid. I believed I was capable of all my dreams and would one day make them happen.

This probably came from what I used to do to occupy myself, reading stories, watching tv and films, playing with Barbies and on the computer. I constantly lived in my own dream world.

So, that’s what I started to integrate into my life. Doing all the things I did as a kid. Even if it felt stupid or cringe, I did it so I could find what I loved again.

I fell back in love with reading, doing word searches and doing creative things. I watched all the films and listened to music I’ve not heard since childhood.

I even embraced going back on long walks and appreciating my surroundings. I loved looking at the flowers and soon realised that rivers are something that calm me down too. Something about the sound of the water is very soothing.

I could even take my dog with me on the walks. Those walks really bonded us together and I knew he would always be there for me.

Exercising was also another huge factor in feeling more myself. It was important to find one that I enjoyed as I usually wasn’t very interested in it. That’s when I started regularly doing pilates at home in my room.

I would really recommend Pilates to anyone. They are just so simple yet effective.

After doing all of these things for myself, I started to begin to see who I was and wanted to be coming in. I could finally figure out who Tia was or who I wanted to be.

I think a lot of other factors play a big part in my continuing journey to self discovery.

One of those was making sure I was surrounding myself with the right people. I think that a lot of people don’t always have the best intentions. They want to see you hurt and let down, yet pretend that they cherish the floor you walk on.

Finding my group, of my people. Was honestly the best thing that happened to me. I think all of these people know exactly who they are, so I won’t name any names.

These people gave me the confidence to feel the things I wanted to feel, work on the things I’ve been hiding from and be better for not only them but myself.

Another factor was trying to re-wire my brain. I tend to have quite a negative mindset naturally, which I think is due to my mental illnesses. And I wanted to change that.

Because it’s a sad world, when all you’re consumed with is how bad everything is and how much being an adult and life can be.

There is so much beauty in this world, and I think it’s part of your journey to figure out what that is. Whether like me, it’s hanging out with your animals, friends or going on walks by the river.

Something I will say is, the journey is not easy. And there are always good and bad days. But every day is a step closer to figuring it out.

I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts and experience of finding yourself.

If there any questions you would like to ask me, or any topics you’d like me to cover.

Please feel free to leave a comment below, or on the social media accounts.

TikTok/Instagram: talkswithtia1111

Lots of love,

Talks With Tia xoxo

Moving out of home

Todays topic is; moving out of home.

I’m going to share my experiences and feelings with you. The ups and the downs of how it was for me.

Firstly, my situation at home was not the best. It was something I needed to escape and had to escape. However, the story behind that is for another time…

Although I had this need for change, the feelings of anxiety crept in.

There was such a mix of emotions, fear yet excitement. Anger yet happiness. Grief yet peace.

After months of searching, I had finally found a place I was comfortable with.

It was a nice, big room, fully furnished. The kitchen, bathrooms and garden was nice. It was something that I could afford. So, I signed my first contract and set a moving date.

I haven’t felt so proud of myself in a really long time. I was doing big girl stuff and figuring stuff out for myself.

It was exciting picking out things for my new room and packing up all my things. It was a new chapter. A fresh start.

When I was buying all the things for moving out, I had a lot of help from my grandma. She brought me a lot of the essentials that you need to live, like cutlery, duvet, towels etc. I can’t express how grateful I am for her and the love I have for her.

But, I couldn’t help all of the change worry me. I knew it was going to be hard, to finically support myself fully.

I struggle a lot with having a low social battery. So I knew, meeting and living with strangers was going to be difficult. But it has really tested my patience, although taught me a lot of it too.

The moving day was honestly one of the most special days to me.

My best friend and her family helped me move all my stuff to the new place. Then, took me to get a week’s worth of shopping and all the essentials.

After my best friend’s family left, we ended up sorting out the main stuff in my room before my friends from work came over.

The girls from work came to settle me in. They brought me a nice card, which they had gotten everyone to write in and a housewarming gift. That was a very cute little plant. I truly felt spoilt.

Me and Abs made dinner and had a sleepover for my first night. It honestly meant the world to me. She knew I was feeling anxious about being alone my first night. So agreed to stay with me and help me move. I don’t know what I would do without her.

It was all going very well in the beginning once I had first moved out. Other than the broken microwave and oven… I liked my roommates, I felt like I could be myself and I was settling in. All until….

I was having a shower after work one day. And I come downstairs into my room, to see, a leak from the ceiling. This obviously made me panic and I contacted the landlord immediately. Luckily, I was heading out so didn’t have to sit and worry about it.

He responded not long after I messaged him. And then tried to accuse me of causing the leak. This just made me feel so angry and confused, as it’s something I’ve never dealt with before.

The next day, I woke up with intense anxiety. Just pure feelings of disappointment and sadness. I felt though everything I had worked hard for was ruined. I had finally got myself a room which was mine and I had made mine, now I might not even have a room in a couple of days.

The landlord checked it out and said that it was an issue with the sealing, not an issue I’ve caused. So, he sorted that out shortly after.

I had felt a lot better, knowing that I had sorted out all the problems in the house. I’m the youngest, moving out of home for the first time yet I’m the only one getting problems resolved?

I think the conclusion of how I feel towards moving out is, it’s difficult but necessary. It has taught me everything I need to know about life. The people who are there to support me, how to make something you’re own.

TalksWithTia

Introduction To Talks With Tia

Hi,

My name is Tia.

I’m creating a blog to discuss topics, which I feel like aren’t talked about enough.

I would like to share my experiences with you all, to either comfort or to help with what you’re dealing with.

I’ve always wanted to help people feel better about themselves and be that better version of themselves. That’s something I’ve known since a little girl. Sometimes I think that’s my purpose in life.

I’ve experienced a lot of hardships and tough situations over the years. From a range of topics like; mental health struggles, dating, toxic relationships and moving out of home.

So, I feel as though I want to help other people feel less alone. Less confused and consumed by their own thoughts. I want people to learn to love and accept who they are.

I hope that you enjoyed reading this introduction and enjoy the rest of my blog:)

TalksWithTia