Tag Archives: #findingyourself

Finding yourself

Hi,

Welcome to talks with tia!

Today’s topic is finding yourself. I feel as though this is something which not many people speak about, or something that some people never conceptualise.

I do think that this has a lot to do with the fact that it takes a lot of time and effort.

I would like to start with what my personal experience of finding myself was like and how I got there.

I remember always being a shy yet confident child. I was always taught to stand up for myself, but was always put down if I did which made me lose that confidence.

I’ve struggled a lot in the past with bullying, mental health issues, abuse and other traumatic events. These all built up over my teenage years, to where I became what society wanted me to be.

I was constantly in toxic relationships and friendships because of the lack of stability in my life. And this is something I’ve only recently realised about myself.

After my last serious breakup and losing all relationships with my friends and family, I realised I wasn’t who I wanted to be for me anymore.

In my eyes, it had seemed like all these years I had been living for other people. But when it came down to it, I was the one choosing to follow someone else’s dream.

The first step that I took to find myself, was to stop living for other people. I tried to stop caring what other people thought, how they treated me and what they could think of me.

Once taking this first step, it made me go onto the second step. This was going back to my childhood.

I spent a lot of time reflecting on who I was, before all of the events of my teenaged years. The type of things I would do to keep me occupied, the mindset I had.

I was quite a strong minded kid. I believed I was capable of all my dreams and would one day make them happen.

This probably came from what I used to do to occupy myself, reading stories, watching tv and films, playing with Barbies and on the computer. I constantly lived in my own dream world.

So, that’s what I started to integrate into my life. Doing all the things I did as a kid. Even if it felt stupid or cringe, I did it so I could find what I loved again.

I fell back in love with reading, doing word searches and doing creative things. I watched all the films and listened to music I’ve not heard since childhood.

I even embraced going back on long walks and appreciating my surroundings. I loved looking at the flowers and soon realised that rivers are something that calm me down too. Something about the sound of the water is very soothing.

I could even take my dog with me on the walks. Those walks really bonded us together and I knew he would always be there for me.

Exercising was also another huge factor in feeling more myself. It was important to find one that I enjoyed as I usually wasn’t very interested in it. That’s when I started regularly doing pilates at home in my room.

I would really recommend Pilates to anyone. They are just so simple yet effective.

After doing all of these things for myself, I started to begin to see who I was and wanted to be coming in. I could finally figure out who Tia was or who I wanted to be.

I think a lot of other factors play a big part in my continuing journey to self discovery.

One of those was making sure I was surrounding myself with the right people. I think that a lot of people don’t always have the best intentions. They want to see you hurt and let down, yet pretend that they cherish the floor you walk on.

Finding my group, of my people. Was honestly the best thing that happened to me. I think all of these people know exactly who they are, so I won’t name any names.

These people gave me the confidence to feel the things I wanted to feel, work on the things I’ve been hiding from and be better for not only them but myself.

Another factor was trying to re-wire my brain. I tend to have quite a negative mindset naturally, which I think is due to my mental illnesses. And I wanted to change that.

Because it’s a sad world, when all you’re consumed with is how bad everything is and how much being an adult and life can be.

There is so much beauty in this world, and I think it’s part of your journey to figure out what that is. Whether like me, it’s hanging out with your animals, friends or going on walks by the river.

Something I will say is, the journey is not easy. And there are always good and bad days. But every day is a step closer to figuring it out.

I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts and experience of finding yourself.

If there any questions you would like to ask me, or any topics you’d like me to cover.

Please feel free to leave a comment below, or on the social media accounts.

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Lots of love,

Talks With Tia xoxo