Hi.
Welcome to Talks With Tia<3
Today’s blog post is about how to cope when in a toxic relationship.
This blog post, is one of the many posts I’ve done on toxic relationships. I go into detail about the meaning, the signs and more…
Please check those out before this blog post, as this is the 3rd part of the series.
(Part 3)
*I will be writing this in two parts as it’s such a big topic*
How to cope when in a toxic relationship?
•Acknowledge & Accept toxicity
The first thing, when you’re in a toxic relationship, is to acknowledge and accept you are in one.
You have to recognise the unhealthy patterns/behaviours in the relationship.
This leads back to part 2, on the signs of toxic relationships.
Recognising the unhealthy patterns/behaviours, are essential as they can support you through this relationship.
If you understand what signs to look out for, you can protect yourself easier. It can also help you figure out what help to reach out for.
Furthermore, you have to accept the toxicity is damaging to you.
You have to accept it’s damaging, in order to take care of yourself. It is a step closer to prioritising your mental well-being.
You deserve to be an a healthy, happy and loving relationship. No matter what type of relationship it is.
It’s important to remember and accept that you deserve love and respect.
•Set Boundaries
Another coping mechanism, is setting boundaries.
Setting boundaries is important in a relationship, as it leads to healthier communication and gives you space to focus on you.
It’s important to prioritise your desires and needs. As this will improve your mental wellbeing and give you motivation to work towards your goals.
You have to establish clear boundaries.
This mostly has to be verbal, as you want the other person to really understand what’s not okay for you and what is.
However, it does have to be supported by repeatedly standing up to those boundaries.
You have to state them assertively and consistently.
If you aren’t clear, or stand strong on your boundaries, the other person may take advantage of this.
An example of setting a boundary, is learning to say “no”.
But, they can be a lot more complex than that and it’s important to figure out what your boundaries are.
•Seek Support
Seeking support is another coping strategy.
Help can be given in many different ways, which I will discuss in this paragraph.
One way, you can seek help is reaching out to a trusted individual.
This can be a friend, family member, teacher or another person you trust.
Another way you can seek help is, speaking to a professional like a doctor or therapist.
There are lots of professionals, who specialise in all different kinds of struggles and mental illnesses. They also can offer support for traumatic events, such as; debt, abuse or neglect.
Another way of getting support, is through support groups.
There are many support groups for all kinds of situations.
Online there are a lot of options for different support groups. It can be a great way to find a community or people who understand what you’re going through.
But, you can find support in person. This is definitely something to remember if you’re in a dangerous situation and you don’t have access to a phone or the internet.
I will create a page dedicated to support you can receive in person, for a range of topics in different parts of the world.
Ive also created a page of different organisations and charities, which you can check out on my page. Under the title: “National Women’s Day”.
(Most of them are UK Based)
•Limit Contact
Another way to cope in a toxic relationship is by limiting contact.
Limiting contact, creates a boundary that shows the other person that their behaviour isn’t acceptable.
You should consider creating a physical, or emotional distance when you realise it’s toxic.
This is to protect yourself.
To minimise exposure to their behaviours, limit the time you spend with them.
If it’s necessary, cut off contact.
Examples of when it’s necessary is if you are in danger, feeling like you have lost yourself, feeling like there is going to be no change or anything you feel makes it necessary.
•Self Care
In my opinion, this is one of the most important coping mechanisms.
Self-care is essential in prioritising YOU.
You put yourself first by focusing on your physical, emotional and mental well-being.
Physical strategies can take form of, working out regularly, eating a healthier and balanced diet.
As, I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts your mind and body are linked. I’ve heard that if you have a happy gut, you will feel better.
Emotional strategies can take form in, doing the things that you enjoy or practicing meditation or mindfulness. Or by speaking to someone about it.
Mental strategies can take form of, speaking kindly to yourself and giving yourself space to feel and support yourself in what ways you think are helpful.
One way that I like to support myself, is by journalling.
Journalling helps me concentrate on what things are upsetting or bothering me. I can get them all out on the page and break them down in my head.
I tend to write things I like about myself, my manifestations and things I’m grateful for at the end of my journals.
This helps me get out what I’m struggling with, but gives me the boost of focusing on what is positive in my life.
Practicing self-love is so important.
The fact, that you are reading this or wanting to love yourself is practicing self-love. This is because, if you want better or want to love yourself more, that’s self- love right there.
Journalling in the way I do, is a way of practicing that. As, it gives me an opportunity to give myself some ‘me’ time, to slow down and process my feelings.
Once you begin to practice self-love, you start to begin to understand yourself. You can start to shape your future.
Please move on, to part 4 for the rest of this blog.
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