Tag Archives: #selfhelp

Dealing with negative thoughts

Hello<3

Welcome to, or back to Talks With Tia!

Today’s blog post, I will be sharing about my experience with negative thoughts. And how I deal with those thoughts.

I would just like to start by mentioning, that today’s blog post is about suicidal thoughts, anxiety and depression.

If those topics are something which you are currently struggling with, and you wish to avoid, please feel free to miss out this one.

Recently, I have had a lot going on in my life. A lot of things which I have shared in my blog posts or YouTube videos, but there are a lot of things which I have purposefully left unsaid.

Life can be so chaotic.

It’s this constant rollercoaster, of things calming down and then suddenly erupting and burning down.

That’s how it feels to me anyway.

I feel like I have really tried the past couple years, to regain peace in the chaos.

I’ve done the work behind closed doors and I’ve come so far, as a person and as a woman.

However, life likes to humble us when we least expect it.

It’s continually testing my patience and strength.

Although, I’ve worked so hard to get to the place that I have. There are a lot of days, where I still struggle with suicidal thoughts and thoughts of loneliness and self hatred.

I think that is something, which not a lot of people would still know about me, or recognise in me.

But, I wanted to share this to help others.

A lot of the time, when I am having suicidal thoughts, it’s when I have multiple things going wrong at the same time.

It becomes overwhelming to the point, where I just want to make it stop.

In the moment, my mind is racing, I’m completely dissociated from my thoughts and body.

I start to take myself to these dark places, of which I used to live in.

What I mean by this is, when I really was at my lowest and weakest point, I lived in the darkest part of my mind all day, everyday.

After that point, I started working on what made life worth it for me, what made me feel safe, calm or relaxed.

The steps I had taken, are tools that I use now to deal with these episodes I suffer with.

I just wanted to note, that although the advice I’m about to give of how I deal with my mental struggles, each person is different.

It is extremely difficult to pick yourself up, when you’re at your lowest point, when you feel like there’s no point or you haven’t got the energy to try anymore.

But, each day is progress and eventually, we will all be able to get to a place where we can find peace in our chaos.

I’m going to start off with, the most important part of your wellbeing, taking care of yourself.

This takes many forms and shapes for all of us.

I like to do things for myself such as; getting off my phone/social media, going on walks and eating healthy/my favourite foods.

These are all forms of self love for me, as they help me ground myself and give me energy.

Another thing, I’ve recently started doing is, going out and enjoying the sun.

As somebody who has really struggled with anxiety and body dysmorphia, I’ve tried to avoid going out in the sun for many years.

It has been a massive trigger for me for many years, wearing summer clothes or wearing them out in public.

I’ve been bullied a lot in my life, for my body type or how my body looks.

The bullying and societal pressures, have caused me a lot of years of stress, trauma and mental strain in terms of how my body looks.

This is something I still struggle with, as it’s something that has been engrained into my brain since childhood.

We are taught, what the perfect type of body is, what’s attractive and ugly. All a bunch of nonsense created by equally just as insecure people.

That’s why, I’m sharing my experiences and am aiming to make a big change in the future of mental health.

I think it’s important, to deeply understand and love yourself, one day in your life.

I think we owe it to ourselves, to find that peace of mind.

I’ve managed to find some of that peace, in my chaotic life.

I’m continually trying to remind myself of all the positive things in my life.

In the dark moments, I try to regain control of my thoughts by being grateful yet understanding of all the progress I’ve made.

I take those moments to reflect myself, of all the times I thought everything was over, where I didn’t think I would make it, or I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Time obviously is a healer, but in those moments, it’s hard to really grasp that.

It feels like for me, that the feeling will never go away. That things are always going to be “broken” or “going wrong”.

That’s why, I have to remember to be grateful that, I made it through.

I got myself, along with the help of others, through those tough times.

So, my strength is unbreakable.

I’ve come back and forth, from the depths of hell in my mind, probably at least 10 times since I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression.

That is something I have to constantly remind myself of, in my episodes or in daily life.

If I could get through, probably the worst things I’ve ever had to face, I can be strong enough to face this and the rest life throws at me.

Talks With Tia Xoxo

Thank you for reading today’s blog post.

I hope that you found this helpful, and someone can relate to these feelings/experiences.

I would love to hear more from my readers, so please feel free to either leave a comment or message me with your thoughts and questions.

BLOG WEBSITE: talkswithtia.blog

TIKTOK/IG: talkswithtia1111

YOUTUBE: Tia Truscott

Toxic relationships: How to leave

Hello.

Welcome to Talks With Tia!

Today’s blog post is about how to leave a toxic relationship.

This is a very important topic, which I really wanted to discuss.

I hope that you take something away from this blog or find it useful.

This is mainly based on toxic relationships regarding romantic relationships. However, you can apply this knowledge to other types.

This is the 4th blog post I’ve done in my series of Toxic Relationships.

I’ve covered what the definition of one is, how to cope when in one, the signs etc.

Please feel free to check those out before this<3

(Part 4)

How to leave a Toxic Relationship?

•Acknowledge & Validate Own Feelings

The first part in leaving a toxic relationship is recognising the toxicity.

It’s important not deny or downplay the unhealthy balance of the relationship.

This is because you deserve happiness, trust and respect.

You’ve got to validate your own emotions.

Let yourself feel the sadness, pain, fear or anger that you’re experiencing.

And then, start working on accepting that you deserve to be living a healthy, happy and safe life.

•Build an support system

It’s important once you’ve acknowledged your feelings and the toxicity in your relationship.

To start building, YOU again.

A good place to start, is from building a support system.

A support system is made from trusted individuals. Like; friends, family or support groups.

I’ve written a lot on creating a support system in my previous blog, with the title ‘Toxic Relationships: How to Cope When In One?’

Please read it to find out more information.

•Make a safety plan

The first thing to do when you’re creating a safety plan, is to assess your safety.

Are you in immediate danger? What are the possibilities of the reaction to the plan?

It’s important when you’re coming up with a plan that it protects your safety.

When planning your exit, you’ve got to decide when and how you’ll leave the relationship. Where you’ll be once it ends, obviously the safest option.

Looking into finances is another thing to consider in your plan.

If you share accounts or property, it’s important to discretely make arrangements for financial freedom and independence.

•Communicate your decision

When you decide that it is the right time and place to leave. You can decide whether or not you’d like to express it to your partner.

If it is safe to, I would recommend expressing it to them.

If it’s not, then you must protect yourself in giving yourself that opportunity to leave without any further harm.

It’s important when deciding whether or not you’d like to discuss your feelings, to be prepared for their reaction.

Assess how your partner usually responds to conflict or other situations.

Then, plan for your going handle those when they arise. If you choose to speak to them about it.

Whilst explaining to them your feelings, emphasise your need for a safe and healthy life.

•Cut off contact

After leaving the relationship, whether expressing your decision or not, it’s key to limit your communication with them.

The only way you will heal and move forward is by doing that.

I would recommend blocking them.

If it’s not possible to block them, due to children or other responsibilities. You’ve got to unfollow them all on social media.

You must avoid further contact.

Once you feel ready to, please seek support.

Continue to lean into support and seek professional help if you need it.

A final note is that you should be really proud of yourself for finding the strength. To take action on this advice, or to even educate yourself more about it.

Focusing on your wellbeing and doing self-care are steps you can take to give yourself the love and respect you deserve.

I’ve spoken more in previous blog posts about all the steps to take to focus on your wellbeing.

Talks With Tia xox

Thank you for reading today’s blog post.

I hope you enjoyed reading it.

If there’s anything which you found useful or interesting to know, I’m grateful to be able to educate more people about them.

Please like or subscribe to support the blog.

You can also comment, if you would like to.

My social media handles will also be below:-

*Tiktok/Ig: talkswithtia1111

*Youtube: Tia Truscott

*Web: talkswithtia.blog

Toxic Relationships: How to cope when in one?

Hi.

Welcome to Talks With Tia<3

Today’s blog post is about how to cope when in a toxic relationship.

This blog post, is one of the many posts I’ve done on toxic relationships. I go into detail about the meaning, the signs and more…

Please check those out before this blog post, as this is the 3rd part of the series.

(Part 3)

*I will be writing this in two parts as it’s such a big topic*

How to cope when in a toxic relationship?

•Acknowledge & Accept toxicity

The first thing, when you’re in a toxic relationship, is to acknowledge and accept you are in one.

You have to recognise the unhealthy patterns/behaviours in the relationship.

This leads back to part 2, on the signs of toxic relationships.

Recognising the unhealthy patterns/behaviours, are essential as they can support you through this relationship.

If you understand what signs to look out for, you can protect yourself easier. It can also help you figure out what help to reach out for.

Furthermore, you have to accept the toxicity is damaging to you.

You have to accept it’s damaging, in order to take care of yourself. It is a step closer to prioritising your mental well-being.

You deserve to be an a healthy, happy and loving relationship. No matter what type of relationship it is.

It’s important to remember and accept that you deserve love and respect.

•Set Boundaries

Another coping mechanism, is setting boundaries.

Setting boundaries is important in a relationship, as it leads to healthier communication and gives you space to focus on you.

It’s important to prioritise your desires and needs. As this will improve your mental wellbeing and give you motivation to work towards your goals.

You have to establish clear boundaries.

This mostly has to be verbal, as you want the other person to really understand what’s not okay for you and what is.

However, it does have to be supported by repeatedly standing up to those boundaries.

You have to state them assertively and consistently.

If you aren’t clear, or stand strong on your boundaries, the other person may take advantage of this.

An example of setting a boundary, is learning to say “no”.

But, they can be a lot more complex than that and it’s important to figure out what your boundaries are.

•Seek Support

Seeking support is another coping strategy.

Help can be given in many different ways, which I will discuss in this paragraph.

One way, you can seek help is reaching out to a trusted individual.

This can be a friend, family member, teacher or another person you trust.

Another way you can seek help is, speaking to a professional like a doctor or therapist.

There are lots of professionals, who specialise in all different kinds of struggles and mental illnesses. They also can offer support for traumatic events, such as; debt, abuse or neglect.

Another way of getting support, is through support groups.

There are many support groups for all kinds of situations.

Online there are a lot of options for different support groups. It can be a great way to find a community or people who understand what you’re going through.

But, you can find support in person. This is definitely something to remember if you’re in a dangerous situation and you don’t have access to a phone or the internet.

I will create a page dedicated to support you can receive in person, for a range of topics in different parts of the world.

Ive also created a page of different organisations and charities, which you can check out on my page. Under the title: “National Women’s Day”.

(Most of them are UK Based)

•Limit Contact

Another way to cope in a toxic relationship is by limiting contact.

Limiting contact, creates a boundary that shows the other person that their behaviour isn’t acceptable.

You should consider creating a physical, or emotional distance when you realise it’s toxic.

This is to protect yourself.

To minimise exposure to their behaviours, limit the time you spend with them.

If it’s necessary, cut off contact.

Examples of when it’s necessary is if you are in danger, feeling like you have lost yourself, feeling like there is going to be no change or anything you feel makes it necessary.

•Self Care

In my opinion, this is one of the most important coping mechanisms.

Self-care is essential in prioritising YOU.

You put yourself first by focusing on your physical, emotional and mental well-being.

Physical strategies can take form of, working out regularly, eating a healthier and balanced diet.

As, I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts your mind and body are linked. I’ve heard that if you have a happy gut, you will feel better.

Emotional strategies can take form in, doing the things that you enjoy or practicing meditation or mindfulness. Or by speaking to someone about it.

Mental strategies can take form of, speaking kindly to yourself and giving yourself space to feel and support yourself in what ways you think are helpful.

One way that I like to support myself, is by journalling.

Journalling helps me concentrate on what things are upsetting or bothering me. I can get them all out on the page and break them down in my head.

I tend to write things I like about myself, my manifestations and things I’m grateful for at the end of my journals.

This helps me get out what I’m struggling with, but gives me the boost of focusing on what is positive in my life.

Practicing self-love is so important.

The fact, that you are reading this or wanting to love yourself is practicing self-love. This is because, if you want better or want to love yourself more, that’s self- love right there.

Journalling in the way I do, is a way of practicing that. As, it gives me an opportunity to give myself some ‘me’ time, to slow down and process my feelings.

Once you begin to practice self-love, you start to begin to understand yourself. You can start to shape your future.

Please move on, to part 4 for the rest of this blog.

Talks With Tia Xox

Web: talkswithtia.blog

TikTok/Ig: talkswithtia1111

Toxic relationships

Hi!

Welcome to, or welcome back to Talks with Tia.

Today’s topic is: Toxic Relationships

(Part One)

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one that negatively affects your self esteem, mental health and general well-being.

There are many shapes and forms which they can take. As the signs, could be physically, emotionally and financially.

Usually, these toxic behaviours are a form of control. Although, most behaviours are stem from childhood or traumatic events/relationships.

Some examples of signs of a toxic relationship are; controlling behaviour, toxic communication and feeling unsupported/disrespected.

Negative emotions and conflicts are normal in any relationship, as we are all human and have our own feelings and beliefs. However, it is not okay, for your partner to feel ownership or make you feel less.

I’ve been in a number of toxic relationships in my life.

However, not all of them have been romantic.

Relationships with friends, family members and co-workers, have all come with toxicity . As I seem to attract those sorts of people.

These have all affected the way I am with people, how I view and behave in the world.

All of the toxic people, made me believe that the world was against me, that my life wasn’t worth living.

In the following blog posts, I will be breaking down toxic relationships into different topics.

Toxic relationships have been a big part of my life, so I have a lot of experience with them. As the discussion about them is so big/important to me, I thought I’d break them down into more detail.

I hope you enjoyed reading the first part of toxic relationships.

If there’s any topics or comments you have. Please leave them below, or message a social media handle.

Talks with Tia xox

Ig: Talkswithtia1111

TikTok: Talkswithtia1111

TikTok: TiaTruscott

Web: talkswithtia.blog

Dealing with anxiety

Hi.

Welcome back or welcome to talks with tia.

Today’s topic is; dealing with anxiety.

Anxiety is a feeling of fear, unease or discomfort. It can range from mild to extremely intense.

I have struggled with anxiety, for around 7 years now.

And those 7 years have been extremely difficult, a feeling which only those who also struggle with anxiety can understand.

Each person’s individual anxieties are very complex and personal to them. As we all have different experiences, struggles and challenges in life.

But one thing, I have learnt is that talking and sharing our experiences with it helps others. As one thing that anxiety makes you feel, is very isolated.

A lot of the time, it can feel like your brain is working against you. As if, you’re the problem.

It’s your brain, so you can have control over it? But there are things we don’t have control over and that’s okay.

We are enough as we are. Not as what we dream to be. Or believe what other people think we should be.

But it’s not as simple as telling yourself you’re enough and believing in yourself.

Anxiety doesn’t just affect you mentally. It affects you physically, which can also range in intensity.

I personally have struggled with a range of different physical responses from anxiety.

One of those, is panic attacks. Panic attacks can take any shape or form, be about anything and again are personal to you.

A lot of the time when I have panic attacks, my brain goes into sensory overload. My thoughts start to race and spiral, if I don’t take control over them. My heart races, throat starts to close up and I completely lose sense of reality. I’ve learnt that this is called dissociation.

When I am having a panic attack, there are a few techniques I’ve found helpful. I will list these below.

•Breathing exercises (breathing in for 7, out for 7)

•Looking at my surroundings, is there any thing I can focus my mind on? For example, can I see any signs or words which I can count the letters of?

•Focusing on my breath and feeling the anxiety , rather than avoiding it

•Listening to music, podcasts or things that make me happy

•Going outside and focusing on my senses e.g. what can I smell, hear or see?

I’ve done a lot of reflection on what some of my triggers are for my anxiety. And those I continue to work on. However, sometimes it can come out of nowhere.

But that all leads back to the mental strength you have to build up for yourself. Because according to psychologists, the mind and the body are interlinked.

Another example of this is, stomach issues. I struggle a lot with the feeling of butterflies in your stomach and this sensation of being tense around my stomach and lower back.

I believe that I struggle with this because of my anxiety. As I have noticed that it is only there when I am stressed or anxious.

A way I manage my stress, is through doing things which I enjoy. A few things I enjoy are; Pilates, going for walks, being in nature and word searches.

Its great for your health and general wellbeing to find stuff that matters to you and gives you something to destress or motivate you.

Another thing that’s key for good wellbeing is you have to find the right support.

As humans, community is really important. The need for love and compassion and respect. But, in life, people don’t always have the best intentions and it’s important to recognise who is really there for the right reasons.

It’s essential in healing and discovering more about your anxiety to have people who understand you. But, it is okay if you feel like there is someone who isn’t.

There are helplines and people out there who are willing to help no matter what. I will dedicate a whole page to helplines and organisations for all kinds of help.

As you’re reading this, I hope you know that whatever you’re going through. You are not alone, and you deserve to be happy and proud of yourself.

I hope that you found this blog helpful and I hope that anything I’ve said makes one person feel less alone.

If there are any questions, or things you’d like me discuss further, please leave a comment or send me a DM.

Talks with Tia xoxo

Website: talkswithtia.blog

TikTok/Instagram: talkswithtia1111